I lost The Cute…and my sanity, for a moment.

Today was a good day except for one terrifying moment.

The Cute was extra cute…wanting mommy snuggles and dancing to every song on the radio with the cutest dances. He was was so cute at times that it hurt. And then he did the bad. We were at the post office to mail a package and I was using the automated mail machine. I assumed he was right behind me like always. But he wasn’t. I suddenly realized he was gone and frantically began to call for him when he was escorted through the door at that moment by a sweet woman. My first instinct was to freak out at him from the fear but I just took a moment and hugged the living crap out of him. Then I scolded him with a normal but stern voice for not staying by my side.

He was outside, people! OUTSIDE! He could have been killed, maimed, or stolen and I wouldn’t have even known. Game over. I lose. WTF. 

I don’t deserve him.

But I get to have him. 

It’s amazing how your entire future life without your child can race through your mind in 3 seconds. I would never survive that loss. I admire those who can. But I hopefully learned my lesson today. He’s very quick and he’s completely without common sense. 

And wonderful, sweet, far-more-responsible-than-I woman who came to his, and therefore my, rescue? Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I know I didn’t say enough thanks to you at the time because I was too busy holding my son in gratitude. You saved our lives. I love you. 

And fucking hell, I love my son. To the depths of my soul and back. 

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